I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
