and she was petting her beer can
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You're like the curious george of whores
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
