If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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