He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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