how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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