I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
