I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
