im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
