We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
