First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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