And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
