I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
