actually, I'm a sock model
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
