Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
