i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
