but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
