She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
3 2 1 whiskey
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
