no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
