just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
