Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
