What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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