In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
