Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
