the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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