I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
