I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
