Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
