Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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