@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
