We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
