my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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