does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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