i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There's even glitter on my cock...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
