Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
