there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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