i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Green mimosas i think yes
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
