I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
too bad you live with your parents still
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
