I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
