Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
