Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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