i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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