How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
