Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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