you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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