So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
