so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
