Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
