have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
