Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
