Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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