So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
