So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
