Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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