But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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