I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
