He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
