I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
