I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
