So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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