i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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